Strategies for a Somewhat Forgetful Dude

Before leaving the apartment, touch 3 separate pockets checking for keys, wallet, and phone. If one is missing, retreat and try again.

After setting any sort of appointment at all, add it to a calendar connected to your phone. Check for any previously planned, overlapping events, and think of a flaky excuse if they are no longer appealing.

Never put anything in an airplane seat pocket ever. Apparently these are all wormholes to the Alpha Centauri system.

Use 24-hour time when setting alarms as AM and PM is a confusing concept — especially for a drunk dude.

If sunglasses are not on a face, they should be hanging on the center of a shirt collar (even though it looks kinda d-baggy). Left anywhere else they will be crushed by the owner’s butt or become sentient and escape.

It is important to identify the type of beverage in a glass before setting it casually on the floor. Unintentional kicks from guests get 2 points for water but only 1 point for a piña colada.

As days progress, the likelihood of a dish in the sink becoming clean approaches 0.

If you are forgetful enough to lose your driver’s license, it is probably a bad idea to sub in your passport.

When a bartender asks if you’d like to open a tab, she is really asking if you’d like to awkwardly drop by tomorrow to pick up your credit card during your lunch hour.

Leaving an important email from a friend or Grandmother for later is another way of deleting it.

concrete skyline

concrete skyline

el rave de los muertos

el rave de los muertos

specular

specular

high contrast

high contrast

clusters

clusters

I won a medal!!!

I won a medal!!!

beach vibes

beach vibes